My take on parenting

I am lucky enough to be called Mom by two small beings that keep me in a constant whirlwind of emotions. I can't go a day without laughing because they have a quick wit tinged with sarcasm, even at the ages of 8 & 9. They have made me cry, shake with anger, laugh until my sides hurt and I have a hard time catching my breath, worry, stress, and so may others. Most of all, they have taught me to be ever present in my personal day to day choices, for what I do and say teaches them.

My daughter told me a week or so ago that that saying is true, you really do learn something new every day. She said that each day, when we talk about their day, I help them to find a way to deal with what may be bothering them or another approach to a simple problem. When someone is being mean to them, I have taught them to smile at that person, compliment them, and walk away. When another child teases them because they still believe in everything magical, I have taught them to nicely ask the child to stop, as it is something that makes them happy and it's not ok for another to try and take that away. There is a new lesson about being a kind hearted human being each day.

My kids go to a charter school. The school itself is small, with only a couple hundred students making up K-8. It's run a bit like a Montessori where it's a multi grade classroom. There is a lottery to determine who gets in. If you start your kids out in kindergarten, it is easier to get in and then future siblings are guaranteed a spot. Occasionally spots open up in the older grades, but those are harder to get in to due to wait lists and such. This year, there was a new little boy in my son's 2-3 class. For the first week or so, my son would tell me how the little boy would just kind of wander around during recess, looking a bit lost. I reminded him of how he felt going in to kindergarten, feeling lost and lonely because he went to a different school for Pre-K. I asked him if he thought it might be a good idea to ask this little boy if he wanted to play, or if he needed help finding anything. My son thought about it for a minute and then got a huge grin on his face. He told me that the next day he was going to make sure that little boy felt included so that he liked their school.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on which is harder to raise, a boy or a girl. For me, they are equally hard. I feel as if my job is to teach my daughter to be confident, but humble. Confident in who she is and how she looks, without going overboard in ego and crossing that line I like to refer to as "brat". With my son, I struggle with teaching him to have respect for women, without turning him into a "mamas boy". Both of my children I have pushed independence from day one. That might be why they were both walking and talking before their first birthday. I have also been adamant that they are smarter than children are given credit for, so I talk to them as I would an adult. Because of this, we have had some very deep conversations at their young age, conversations I don't think I had until I was much older. But in having these conversations, it has taught them to ask questions when they don't understand. Yes, some topics are hard to discuss, but they have a respect for all topics that would otherwise seem taboo and create an uncomfortable feeling. By talking about everything under the sun, they have an awareness in how they treat not only the people around them, but the land we live in and on. They are still kids, act like kids, but they are able to stop and assess the situation more often than not.

Like all parents, I want my kids to have the opportunity to have more choices in their future than I do. I have thought long and hard about how I can help them achieve that. I feel that my job as their mom is pretty damn important. I am trying to teach them kindness and compassion, so that they may treat those that they meet fairly, for they do not know the story of other's. I am trying to instill a strength in character so that they may follow their heart and stand firm in their beliefs, with the ability to see the potential of the other side. I want them to be able to recognize that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we can all overcome those should we be willing to take the steps. I also want them to have a sense of independence, for they must know love for themselves before they can wholly love another, as well as know that they don't need to define themselves by another. And lastly, I am trying to keep their sense of wonder and love of the magical alive and kicking, for to keep that intact will allow them to see the beauty in everything.